twilight fmls

Because I feel like being nice, I'm going to write this short post in English. ^^
As you all know I adore Twilight. A lot! (If you don't... you're probably both blind and deaf. :)) Although, I wouldn't even consider doing some (;)) of these stuff. :P

"Today, my sister won a life sized cut out of the Twilight: New Moon characters and every time I walk into my living room it scares the crap out of me. FML"

"Today, we finally convinced my twelve year old sister that reading was fun and she should read more. Now she can't stop talking about what an amazing story the first book was, and how likable the characters are. What was the first book she decided to read cover to cover? Twilight. FML"
It's still good that she reads..? Even though she could probably read something more... educational. :P Although, I don't blame her. ;)

"Today, the painting I worked on for three weeks was rejected from an art contest because the rules prohibit fan art. It wasn't fan art. They mistook it for Twilight fan art. FML"

"Today, I woke up to discover that in a "drunken stupor" my Twilight-crazed girlfriend had superglued sequins to my butt so that I would sparkle. They won't come off. FML"

"Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my face was covered in glitter. I asked my wife about it and she said she put it on me while I was sleeping so that I would sparkle like Edward from Twilight when I'm in the sunlight. FML"

"Today, my dad thought it'd be funny to put an Edward Cullen cutout behind my car as I backed it out the garage to see my reaction. Oh it was funny alright, except I was so scared that when I saw him through the mirror I reacted by stepping on the gas. We now have half a garage door. FML"

"Today, I realized that I will never be able to buy the car I've wanted since middle school. The car? A greyish-silver Volvo, which is the make and color of car Kurt Cobain drove. The reason? I've been informed that it's also the make and color of the car that Edward Cullen drives in Twilight. FML"
Funny comment ^^: "Twilight is an abomination. Agreed. But that shouldn't stop you from getting your dream car. If twelve year old girls come up to you and comment on the car and ask you if you know Edward Cullen or some shit like that, then you may have a problem. :^"

"Today, I kissed my iced over window to know what kissing Edward Cullen would be like. My neighbor saw. My first reaction was to come up with a cover story. I licked the window and wiped my sleeve over it to look like I was cleaning it. My neighbor came over later and gave me an early Christmas gift. Windex. FML"
'To know what kissing Edward Cullen would feel like' - What the..? x)

"Today, I went to see the new Twilight movie, for the second time. The first time was at the midnight premiere. I would be "okay" with it if the person who had dragged me to see it both times hadn't been my boyfriend. FML"
That's... somewhat weird. But still amusing. ^^

"Today, I woke up after drunkenly hooking up with a girl who was really into Twilight. I felt bruises on the lower end of my neck and so I went to the mirror and checked it out. She bit me, 5 times. FML"
Isn't she the one who'd've gotten bit marks all over her neck? Or is she dreaming of becoming a vampire? Anyways, it really makes no sense. At all. :P